Never quite the same...

Justin frowned and hung his head, looking hurt. "I told you. This was the only time." He said, not bothering to correct Heath about what they'd done; trying not to get angry.

"You still did it," Heath angrily said as he stormed out. He wasn't angry so much as he was hurt for what he had just seen.

"You're with Slater," Wade said almost accusingly.

"I did tell you that..." Justin mumbled. "You just thought it didn't matter because he 'wouldn't know'..." He angrily, moving to get up, grabbing his clothes before disappearing into the bathroom to shower.

"He wasn't supposed to come back to America," Wade shouted into the bathroom, knowing this last part would hurt Justin, "In all technicality he wasn't even supposed to live!"

Heath was in his and Justin's room, packing his things. He couldn't believe what he had walked in on. Justin and Wade. [i]Wade[i] of all people. The man who had grown cold and shut off from them since Sheamus left, the man who Justin and Heath sometimes mocked behind his back. They never meant it in a rude way, they just knew that laughing about things meant they were more bareable.

"What was that?" Justin asked angrily after a couple of minutes, half dressed when he opened the door; a cold look on his face that most people never thought would come from someone who's usually more sensitive than others. "You better not be about to say you sent him away in hopes he wouldn't come back at all, you esel!" He snapped at Wade, not caring if he knew what the word meant.

As much as he wanted to go talk to Heath, Justin couldn't help but wonder what Wade meant, so he'd snapped at him, deciding at the time that being angry was better than letting his other emotions take over, knowing if he did that he'd just be a mess.

(esel = ass)

"I did hope he'd come back but I didn't expect him to," Wade replied calmly, "what I sent him to America to do was dangerous and I knew that there was a chance that he may not come back at all. Hell, he knew that he may not come back at all."

"What?" Justin said, genuinely angry now. "And neither of you ever stopped to think that there might have been other people who'd want to know that?" He shook his head, muttering angrily to himself in his native language as he stormed out of the room, looking for Heath. When he found him, Justin froze in the doorway, realising what Heath was doing, his anger quickly fading again.

"Why didn't you tell me...?" Justin asked, though it came out quieter than he'd meant it to as he tried not to end up in tears. "W-Why didn't you tell me you didn't know whether or not you'd be able to come back...?"

Wade hung his head as Justin left the room. The truth is he had wanted Heath to leave and never come back. Heath not being in the picture would mean that he wasn't the only miserable one in the house. He knew it was a depraved thought but it was how he felt.

Heath couldn't force himself to look at Justin, "It was easier that way if I died. The goodbye would have been painful and...and I was selfish. I didn't want to realize that what I was doing was truly dangerous."

"Oh... Right." Justin said sadly, looking down at his feet. He stayed quiet for a minute, slowly looking back up at Heath, running a hand through his dark hair. He wasn't sure what to say, knowing he'd messed up, but all he wanted to do was go over and hug Heath after not seeing him for so long. He didn't do that though, guessing it probably wouldn't be a good idea after what Heath had walked in on.

"Heath... I um..." He started nervously, looking away again as he tried to think of something to say.

"You what Justin?" Heath asked, not daring to look his best friend in the face. He just couldn't Justin had been his everything and now he felt like it all meant nothing.

"I love you..." Justin said quietly, looking away again to try and hide the tears in his eyes. "We...we were talking, I was lonely a-and we were both upset over things... He...he kissed me and he begged me to do it..." He rambled as he tried to explain, though he didn't think it would help anyway.

He slowly looked around the room, running a hand through his hair before sighing quietly.

"I'm sorry." He said once he'd calmed down enough. "I-I know I shouldn't have agreed to it, I made a mistake and I know there's no point in me trying to make excuses, so I'm not going to..." He added quietly before turning to leave the room, assuming Heath would want him to.

"The worst part is..." Heath replied as he sat on the bed as a way to show that he wasn't going to leave. "...I thought you and I were gonna be a thing forever. You and I could have outlasted any couple."

Justin slowly turned back around when Heath started speaking, leaning against the doorframe as if it was the only thing holding him up. "We...we still could..." He said quietly. "I still want to be with you..."

Heath sighed, "You slept with him Justin. I know you don't love him but you slept with him. Do you know how bad that hurst me?"

Justin went to say something, but decided not to, nodding silently instead. He didn't look directly at Heath, worried about what he might see in the redhead's eyes.

Heath was visibly crying as he continued, "Why did ya do it Justy? Am I not enough for you? Did I break your heart or something, naw mean?"

Justin shook his head, wiping tears away with one hand, finding it harder not to cry after seeing Heath in tears. "No...you...you didn't," He mumbled. "I-I don't know...I felt sorry for him I guess..." He said, still trying to actually figure it out himself.

"We've felt sorry for him for a while," replied Heath, "I'm sorry but I don't see why you had to sleep with him. But...but I love you so I forgive you."

"I know we have... I just...I don't even know why I did it." Justin mumbled, not actually realising what Heath had said, too worried he'd hear the opposite.

Heath ran a bitter hand through his hair, "It's him I don't forgive. He knew, I mean, you told him you were with me and he still wanted to sleep with you!"

Justin nodded, taking a deep breath before speaking so he could get the words out properly. "And...and then after you'd walked off, he said you weren't actually supposed to come back..." He said quietly. "If that happened and I heard you were... that you were gone..." He trailed off, in tears now at the thought of Heath being gone, sitting down on the floor beside the doorway, his head in his hands.

Heath got off of the bed and sat down on the opposite side of the doorway, looking around before kissing Justin. "What I'm about to tell you," he whispered, "it can never reach Wade's ears. If Wade knew...god...if Wade knew what I've done, he'd kill me."

Justin froze when Heath kissed him, not having been expecting it. He looked up at him, sniffing and wiping his eyes, a confused look on his face. "Why...? Wh-What did you do...?" He asked quietly.

"I...I was in America doing some detail work for him," Heath replied, running his thumb over the back of Justin's hand as they held hands, "and...and Stephen contacted me about working for him...so I said I would..."

Justin nodded, slowly starting to relax at Heath's touch. "What? You...you actually saw him? I...what did he want?" He asked, having been about to mention that he'd kept an eye on Stephen, but decided to just ask about what Heath had said.