Never quite the same...

Justin headed inside, checking each room as he passed it before reaching Heath's room hesitating before knocking. "...Heath?"

"What do you want?" Heath asked, not looking up from his packing.

"You never let me explain." Justin replied, putting a hand on the doorframe as e stood there. "You know I word things in ways that make them sound different to what I mea-" He stopped, thinking about what Wade had said and let out a sigh, hanging his head.

"I'm sorry Heath. I know I've done a lot of stupid things, especially today and...you really shouldn't have to put up with this kind of shit," He said after a pause, one of the rare moments where he actually swore. "...you deserve better and I understand why you'd want to get away from it all."

"I don't want to get away from it but with you sleeping with our boss, it's what I should do! I know you and Wade and Stephen were always closer than I was to any of you because I was the silly American who waltzed in and just sorta made himself unannounced," Heath replied calmly, though there were a twinge to his voice that let Justin know just how hurt he was. "I thought that maybe, maybe I could be yours and not have to worry about any of that but then Stephen left. I knew you always liked Wade and that it was a matter of time until I was pushed out of the picture."

"That's not what I meant...it's not what I want either." Justin mumbled. "You were the silly American yeah, you still are; but you're the silly American who made me soon forget I had any sort of feelings like that for Wade. I don't want to push you away; I don't."

"Then why were you with him?" Heath sobbed, forcing himself not to look at Justin. When he did, it was evident that there were emotions behind his eyes that he hadn't told anyone about.

"I told you..." Justin said, his voice almost a whisper. "He was talking about his past and we both got upset. He asked me and- I made a stupid decision instead of thinking about it while I was calm."

Heath sat on his bed, running his hands over his face, "You don't get it...you just...you think I'm hurt because you cheated on me. It could have been anyone else. But him!?"

"You- You're mad because it was Wade...?" A mix of emotions ran through Justin as he thought about that, ranging from wanting to laugh, to wanting to break down again, knowing he'd really hurt Heath. Instead though, he ended up shouting at Heath, which if he'd thought about it first, was probably the worst thing he could have done.

"You've always been jealous of him! I know you have! Even when all I was doing was being nice to him, making sure he had at least one friend after Stephen left. Even before that. You've always focused so much on the bad things he and his father have done that you forget he's a person and needs friends too!"

Heath looked at him, "You don't get it do you!? Even when Wade was fuckin' Stephen, he liked you. You two were the two who were close as kin, Stephen too. Do you have any fuckin' clue what it's like to be an American over here, Justin? Do you know how out of place I feel when you guys talk about things you watched or did as kids that I'll never have any clue about because I've never heard of it. I'm not jealous of that big eared, big nosed, bastard."

"Well...no. I don't have a clue what it's like because I'm not from America." Justin said slowly, looking a little confused about that being why Heath was so upset. "But, you at leats spoke the same language as the others did already. You didn't have to learn a whole new language like I did. I wasn't actually here that long before you, maybe a year or two at most. The reason I was so close to Wade was because he was the one who taught me most of my English after my parents sent me to work here..."

"Justin...I'm not jealous because of...I hate the fact that I'll never feel as close to either one of you as you two feel for each other! Dammit, I love you and I constantly feel like I'm going to lose you to my best friend," Heath admitted, tears in his eyes.

"It's not true Heath...it's not." Justin said sadly, slowly shaking his head. "I don't love him, not like I do you. That was in the past." Even as he said the words, he knew they weren't entirely true now after earlier in the day. While he meant it when he said he loved Heath more, being with Wade earlier had made him realise he did still have feelings for the Englishman, even if they had been buried deep down years ago.

"If you can look at me and tell me this will never happen again, I'll believe you," Heath softly stated, knowing that Justin couldn't.

"I... don't plan on it happening again..." Justin said slowly, knowing at least that was true. He couldn't say for sure if it wouldn't happen again anyway or not.

"Don't plan on it and aren't going to let it are two different things Justin. I...I can't stay with someone that I constantly think is going to sleep with his best friend," Heath spoke softly, lowering his eyes.

"Heath...you know what he's like. He's got that way with words- He can make people agree with things they normally wouldn't." Justin replied, desperate to find any reason at all now to convince Heath to stay, dreading the idea of him leaving.

Heath sighed and sat on the bed, running a hand through his orange locks. "I don't know how to say this...but Justin...I'm scared you'll realize I'm not good enough. I ain't good with words like Wade. I don't do big, romantic gestures. I'm a nobody compared to him."